There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
