used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize