im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
