Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
