Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
NoShamevember. You game?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
