do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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