I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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