What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
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Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
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But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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