i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
