The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
