oh god the rape fog is back!
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
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