His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
