this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?