they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
