Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
