No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Floor bacon is actually really good
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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