she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
