in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
MIDGETS
????
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
