wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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