we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize