hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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