OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
