I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
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You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
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I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize