Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
