so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
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Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
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Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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