You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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