he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
