I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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