omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize