the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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