and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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