I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
