my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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