You made me cry and you don't even care
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
