He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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