Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
