Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
