Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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