You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
