A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize