Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
