3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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