Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
