turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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