It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Someone shattered a urinal.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
