I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
