The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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