I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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