maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
