I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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