its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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