Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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