I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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