how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
