his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
