it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
