So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i drank out of a bidet.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
